Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Bitting Satire — a double feature


World Over Satire - I'm Dreaming of a Francis Christmas




...and an anonymous reader of the blog has rewritten the lyrics to the 12 Days of Christmas in the spirit of modernism.




On the first day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
A new code in '83.
On the second day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.
On the Third day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Three conferences of Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.  
On the fourth day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me
Four cardinals doubting,
Three conferences of Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.  
On the fifth day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Five plus heresies,
Four cardinals doubting,
Three conferences of Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.  
On the sixth day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Six new beatitudes preaching,
Five plus heresies,
Four cardinals doubting,
Three meetings at Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.  
On the seventh day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Seven council documents writing,
Six new beatitudes preaching,
Five plus heresies Four cardinals doubting,
Three meetings at Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.  
On the eighth day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
EIGHT CANDLES BURNING,
Seven council documents writing,
Six new beatitudes preaching,
Five plus heresies,
Four cardinals doubting,
Three meetings at Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.
On the ninth day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Nine feet a washing,
Eight candles burning,
Seven council documents writing,
Six new beatitudes preaching,
Five plus heresies,
Four cardinals doubting,
Three meetings at Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.
On the tenth day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Ten priests molesting,
Nine feet a washing,
Eight candles burning,
Seven council documents writing,
Six new beatitudes preaching,
Five plus heresies,
Four cardinals doubting,
Three meetings at Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.
On the eleventh day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Eleven Marxists scheming,
Ten priests molesting,
Nine feet a washing,
Eight candles burning,
Seven council documents writing,
Six new beatitudes preaching,
Five plus heresies,
Four cardinals doubting,
Three meetings at Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.  
On the twelfth day of holidays the V2 anti-popes gave to me:
Twelve press conferences speaking,
Eleven Marxists scheming,
Ten priests molesting,
Nine feet a washing,
Eight candles burning,
Seven council documents writing,
Six new beatitudes preaching,
Five plus heresies,
Four cardinals doubting,
Three meetings at Assisi,
Two John Paul's,
And a new code in '83.

3 comments:

  1. "Keep Francis Out Of Christmas!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. No way! I made it to the front page alright! I only wish I had spent 5 more minutes on the iambic pentameter lol. Hey if anyone wants to do something with this song feel free.
    Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol I wasn't talking about you. It was just an idea for a bumper sticker.
    But seriously, a Christmas without Francis/his bs is what the world desperately needs.

    ReplyDelete